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April 3rd, 2009

Alternate Meats

It was the fast food franchise known as Suicide Bob's which truly began the alternative meats craze in the mid 21st century with his Cappy Burgers and 'Guana Sticks offerings. McDonald's introduction of Neobeef and Proctor and Gambles’ Sheet Meats further inculcated the eating public to the idea of alternameats as the products came to be known. Jean Watts, a futurist hired by Proctor and Gamble to rethink their production facilities introduced the vertical ranch concept in 2065 where old skyscrapers were converted wholesale into Sheet Meat factories. Ratz4Dinna by Swanson failed to have the appeal of other brands as did the boulder-sized Pjork products by Solomon-Fischer. FishFilm also failed to win advocates due to poor marketing and production difficulties. Tellus' BioFoods division introduced NeuPhood in 2080; despite initial marketing and memetic saturation campaigns, most consumers avoided it. "It was the taste," claims food historian, flogger and epicurologist Natalie Castillo, "No amount of memetic indoctrination could hide the flavor, the best description of it could be summed up in the word 'disquieting'. " In 2215, League Marshalls raided an isolate compound on Nash that had acquired the NeuPhood base stock froma  Tellus disposal facility on Hesperia. Claiming the NeuPhood base to be 'manna'. The isolate group, Mater Magna, held the 'manna' in high regard as the centerpiece of their bizarre weekly religious services.  The NeuPhood stock was destroyed and the Mater Magnites re-socialized. Since the discovery of alien life, other foods like Red Vine, Troll Pig, Eep, Clawdaddy, Blue Plate and thousands of others have become common parts of the human diet, often eclipsing the old alternameats. While not as popular in these days of plenty, many alternameats, especially Sheet meats continue to be a daily staple for the crews of starships, orbital facilities and other regions lacking in the space or resources to develop other techniques.