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May 28th, 2009

Instant Rehab Nasal Spray

Need to be fresh for that interview? Piloting a ship through Jumpspace but too coked up to do it? Then Instant Rehab Nasal Spray is for you. Instant Rehab Nasal Spray might not be right for everyone; consult your doctor if you experience any side effects or symptoms.

You should not use Instant Rehab if you are pregnant, nursing, have a history of epilepsy, liver disease, a high risk for strokes or heart disease, biomodification stress syndrome, Cottington's Disease, psychic abilities, rheumatism, or allergies to nuts. Side effects may include blindness, epilepsy, frequent urination, bladder infection, aphasia, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, anal seepage, dry mouth, watery eyes, loss of consciousness, migraines, blurred vision, synasthesia, sexual mania, and hearing loss.

Melissa Soy and the Muppet Revue

It has been confirmed by E2! that Melissa Soy, former star of the hit series, She's the Dude, will donate her persona to the Muppet Revue. Soy, who suffered from Kowalski's Syndrome died last week from complications brought on by graft rejection; her upload was done posthumously. The Muppet Revue, a re-creation of the characters created by Jim Henson nearly three-hundred years ago, has generated some controversy. Using edited xoxes donated to the enterprise by actors, comedians and celebrities, the current generation of Muppets are effectively AI's. While technically the property of Jim Henson Productions, the status of the beloved characters remains a thorny issue among lawmakers. Muppets, like standard robots, are cybernetic constructs built to resemble the puppet bodies of the original Muppets; animated by xoxes. The controversy comes in that the persona uploads are not of the original individual, but highly edited and overlain with a Muppet eidolon. This places them in a legal gray area, since unlike ghosts or AI's, they aren't intended to function as "real" people. Technically not human beings, many people do hold that Muppets should have the same rights due to their unique "in-between" situation. Many famous individuals, such as actor Charlie Diggle, comedian Ryan Rose Ringcrest and celebutante Shae-Shae Hilton have contributed xoxes. Soy, the latest contributor, will be filling the position of the character Scooter; last filled by Liam Sharpe who was irrecoverable. Since the Muppets are copyrighted material, no copies of xoxes are allowed; as a result only a single copy of a Muppet is allowed at a time. The Muppet source code remains untouched in Jim Henson's secure servers, but individual "actors" have no such protection against damages. The death of Liam Sharpe's Scooter marks the fifth time a Muppet has had to be replaced due to loss of AI functionality and neural cohesion. Three Miss Piggy’s, one Gonzo and one Animal have suffered prior dissolution.